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Thursday 12 December 2013

Cluttered Confessions by Marie Sexton

Happy Holidays! Can you even believe Christmas is right around the corner? I still have gifts to buy, decorations to put up, and (before I can even start decorating) an unbelievably messy house to clean. Yes, I hate to admit it, but my house is a DISASTER. I’m not quite ready to land on reality TV, but it’s still overwhelming. 


Now, I should clarify: my house isn’t DIRTY. There’s no mold, or rotting food, or piles of trash. We don’t have mice, or cockroaches (one of the benefits of living in Colorado). The house doesn’t stink, and I even scrub the toilets on a pretty regular basis. But good lord, do we have clutter! Piles of shoes and mittens by the door, stuffed animals and books and Legos in the living room, and so much mail and homework on the kitchen table that it’s hard to find a place to eat. The hallway is filled with baskets of clean laundry nobody wants to put away, half the kitchen counter is covered with stuff my husband promised to take to the garage, and the pantry is becoming a game of Tetris. Even my bathtub is littered with toys. 

Yeah. It’s that bad. I’m a friggin’ hot mess. And here’s the thing: our entire family will be coming HERE for Christmas. 

I’ll be honest: I’m beginning to panic. The thing is, DH and I both come from cluttered homes. We’ve come by our slipshod ways honestly. My father tends to hoard mail, newspapers, and magazines, my mother hoards crafting stuff, and DH’s mother hoards… well, just about everything. So on the bright side, our parents don’t judge us when they drop by and have to face an obstacle course to reach the family room, but still, that’s not an excuse to leave it messy. After all, this is Christmas. We’ll be cooking food and eating and drinking, then opening presents, all of which will make an even bigger mess. And better to put that mess in a clean space instead of on top of the existing mess, right? RIGHT?

How does that even make any sense?

That’s the thing about cleaning: it never lasts. You pick everything up just so you have an empty canvas to fill with clutter again. It’s like shoveling while it’s still snowing – you just can’t win, and the only thing you really succeed in doing is making yourself a bit more frazzled. So why bother? No matter how clean the house is when all those guests arrive Christmas morning, it’ll still be a mess – filled with torn paper, new toys, and empty wine glasses – by the time they all leave at the end of the day. 


So where does that leave me? Well, still panicking. Still sure I have to clean. And (having confessed all that publicly), feeling a bit like I do in those dreams where I’m giving a lecture only to look down and realize I forgot to put on a shirt and bra. But in the end, whatever happens, we’ll have fun. We’ll enjoy each other’s company. We’ll open presents, and ooh and aah, and take turns playing with my daughter’s new toys. We’ll eat too much and drink too much and doze on couches and in chairs as well as we can. We’ll watch football on one TV, and Firefly on the other, and laugh frequently. We’ll be a family. 

And I’ll live to clean the mess another day. 

*_*_*_*

You can find Marie at http://mariesexton.net/, and on Facebook and Twitter. 



16 comments:

  1. Anybody else have a holiday confession?

    Don't forget, we're giving away prizes all month long here on the Pax blog. Just leave a comment to enter.

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  2. I didn't even know this blog existed and I buy from Amber Quill - thanks!

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  3. So are you saying I don't have to clean since no one is coming over? Also, Firefly! Great choice!

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    1. Hell yes, that's what I'm saying! I keep thinking I should suggest our family gather at one of the parents' houses instead. But again... clutter. They're no better than we are when it comes to keeping things neat. (Although at least cleaning would be their job, not mine.)

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  4. My place is pretty tiny so it doesn't take much to look cluttered, so that tends to be its usual state, lol.

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  5. My place is tiny and my family is big - so I tend to arrange that my parents host.... Luckily they don't mind :)
    Also: I love the last pic
    ninnadh(at)gmail.com

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    1. I wonder if there's still time for me to beg and have Christmas moved to my parents' house? I might try that.

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  6. House cleaning is considered suspicious behavior around here. The kids will catch me cleaning and immediately ask who's coming over.

    As for a holiday confession - hmmm... I can't bake. I mean I can roast a chicken or cook meals in an oven but if it involves flour, sugar, butter or yeast I am completely inept. Thus every holiday I wrestle with my feeling of failure as a domestic goddess (or good mother at the very least) and make myself crazy. I torture myself by pinning recipes for cookies and homemade sweets. Sometimes in a desperate bid to see if I finally developed the betty gland that other women seem to have I'll give baking yet another try. My family, knowing the crazy that I nuture, always eats and praise my efforts. Bless them.
    I haven't yet figured out why I do this to myself and I can't really afford the therapy. Plus booze is cheaper. So I've got that to get me through the holidays and prevent me from slipping into Martha Stewart induced madness

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    1. That supposed to be "Betty Crocker gland".

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    2. Hahah! That's funny about the baking. I don't bake either. At least you end up with yummy treats afterward, right? LOL.

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  7. I used to swear by that Quentin Crisp quote: "After the third year, the dust doesn't get any worse" LOL. Not that our house is dirty, like you say - I'm just applying that quote to clutter! I was very heartened at the description of your house, because that sounds like ours!! Sundry tools in the kitchen, ironing in various states of completion, the clean laundry no one will fold and put away, the stiff piled on the stairs to be taken up by the owners but which stays there all week, the one unmatched shoe in each room...
    *sigh*

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    1. Yes, the stairs!! I learned that trick of "I'll just set it here until next time I'm going up" from my MIL. *sigh*

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  8. We're hosting our son-in-law's family tomorrow for s-I-l's birthday dinner--long story so don't ask. Apparently s-I-l will want to vacuum before they arrive because his dad is allergic to cat hair. If there's too much of it around dad's eyeballs will turn red and fall out. I told our daughter not to worry--if that happens the Dyson will pick them up, too :)

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  9. ROFL--love the second Hallmark sentiment in particular. I have kinda given up wine :-( due to health and stuff but oh those dadgum books!!! I just say Martha Stewart does not live here and the Queen is not likely to come to tea and let it go at that!! Thx for a laugh --of empathy--though.

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